Both Basic Doctrine and Leadership Training Classes will take off in an unprecedented race to "do everything to spread the Good News and share in its blessings!" (1 Cor. 9:23) The following article answers questions about the first take-off: the "Basic Doctrine Crash Course."

What is "Basic Doctrine?"

"Doctrine" sounds like such a dirty word in our postmodern era. To be labeled "Doctrinaire" is an insult! But doctrine is actually a foundation for life. Despite what postmodern purists may claim, everyone establishes doctrines of life. Doctrine addresses questions which can steer a life, or destroy it:

• Is my life significant?
• What happens to me when I die?
• Where did I come from?
• Is there a God?
• How can I know God?
• Is the Bible really revelation from God?

Ask almost anyone who’s invested the time to learn material like this, and most likely they’ll say it was extremely worthwhile. Building a foundation is always difficult and costly. Students go into deep financial debt to get a degree, for example, but the foundation the Bible can build for a lifetime is incalculably valuable, as Christ says:

The class will accomplish vital goals.

Some of the foundations we plan to build with Basic Doctrine:

1. To help the Christian thinker grasp biblical answers to the above questions in an organized, logical fashion. Informal, friendly Bible studies are so valuable to Christian fellowship, but until the Bible student tries to organize the material, Bible knowledge will be confused and sloppy.
2. To move knowledge of the Bible into practical, everyday life. This involves memorizing scripture. Without memorization, a Christian’s ability to use the Bible depends on having a book at hand. This is what people call "book-bound knowledge," or "ivory tower." Obviously it isn’t always possible to have a book nearby, and effective Christians of all ages can cite vast tracts of scripture.
3. To equip Christians with solid answers for a confused, postmodern age. "What is ‘Truth’?" Pilate sarcastically asked Jesus Christ. The Bible was written in a culture just as confused about truth as our modern era. Christianity spread like wildfire because Jesus claims, "I am the truth!" fulfills our deep thirst for truth. As we study the Bible in this course, we will also compare it to modern world views.
4. To launch the Bible student into more advanced theological study. The Bible is "deep enough to drown a wise man, but shallow enough for a baby’s bath," a Bible teacher once said. Without a basic, solid grasp of the Bible, it is impossible to engage in fruitful discussions about the deeper things of God - the conversation always gets confused! It’s not good when a Christian is perpetually stuck learning and re-learning elementary things, as the Bible says:

The bottom line: Basic Doctrine is a prerequisite for advanced courses. Students in the Leadership Training Class (LTC,) for example, must be able to share a common proficiency and feel free to discuss practical issues concerning ministry.

What is a "Crash Course" ?

This course will be different from the typical Basic Doctrine session in these ways:

1. Faster-paced. Basic Doctrine is usually spread across a 10-week period, meeting every two weeks. Since LTC begins in about 5 weeks, we need to pick up the pace and push LTC candidates through this course immediately! It means less time to absorb the material, but we believe in the competency of our LTC candidates.
2. More Fluid. To complicate matters, the course was unscheduled, so our students will be scrambling to clear busy schedules. But we’re flexible, and we’ll try to offer two sessions of the course to fit most students’ schedules.
3. More Efficient. The sessions must be more efficient to squeeze into tighter schedule slots, and so we plan to hold 1-1/2 hour-sessions. This means students should come better-prepared so we can spend the time discussing the complex issues, answering questions, and understanding the all-important application points. We’re setting up an online Basic Doctrine Web with resources, handouts and some interactive learning. Students should visit the online classroom frequently to keep pace.

Above all, this course will be a blast!

What could be more exciting than a spontaneous, fast-paced lifestyle, especially during the Christmas break when most of us would otherwise be bored, shiftless and looking for trouble? We’ll hold sessions around the fireplace at the McCallum’s house, and warm Christian fellowship will be a part of every class!

What Do I Do?

If you’re scheduled to take the LTC class in January, but you’ve never taken Basic Doctrine, you must get into this course immediately!

If you are not scheduled to take LTC, but you want to get into this class, you can also sign up for it. Keep in mind that we must give preference to our LTC candidates. You might not get the time slot you preferred, or you might not get in. Still, it’s worthwhile to try, if you want to. Remember, we offer Basic Doctrine often, and you can take it soon anyway - the normal, "non-crash" version.

1. Sign up for the course on-line at http://neoxenos.net/basicdoctrine. Instructions are available at the site.
2. Take the Feedback Activity titled "Your Availability?" so we know what time slots are available for people.
3. The course costs $15 for students, $30 for married couples, and otherwise $20 per person. Fees are collected the first week.

Sinfony (Overture)

Accompagnato (Tenor or Soprano)
Comfort ye, comfort ye my people, saith your God. Speak ye comfortably to
Jerusalem, and cry unto her, that her warfare is accomplish’d, that her Iniquity
is pardoned. The voice of him that crieth in the wilderness; prepare ye the way
of the Lord; make straight in the desert a highway for our God.
(Isaiah 40:9 ; Isaiah 60:1)

Accompagnato (Bass)
For behold, darkness shall cover the earth, and gross darkness the people; but
the Lord shall arise upon thee, and His glory shall be seen upon thee. And the
Gentiles shall come to thy light, and kings to the brightness of thy rising.
(Isaiah 60:2-3)

Air (Bass)
The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light; and they that dwell
in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined.
(Isaiah 9:2)

Chorus
For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given, and the government shall be
upon His shoulder; and His name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, the
Mighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace.
(Isaiah 9:6)

Pifa (Sinfonia pastorale)

Recitative (Soprano)
There were shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flocks by
night.
(Luke 2:8 )

Accompagnato (Soprano)
And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone
round about them, and they were sore afraid.
(Luke 2:9 )

Recitative (Soprano)
And the angel said unto them: Fear not, for behold, I bring you good tidings of
great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the
city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
(Luke 2:10-11)

Accompagnato (Soprano)
And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host,
praising God, and saying:
(Luke 2:l3)

Chorus
Glory to God in the highest,
and peace on earth,
good will towards men.
(Luke 2:14 )

Air (Soprano or Tenor)
Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion; shout, O daughter of Jerusalem! Behold, thy
King cometh unto thee; He is the righteous Saviour, and He shall speak peace
unto the heathen.
(Zecharaiah 9:9-10 )

Recitative (Soprano)
Then shall the eyes of the blind be opened, and the ears of the deaf unstopped.
Then shall the lame man leap as an hart, and the tongue of the dumb shall sing.
(Isaiah 35:5-6)

Aria (Soprano)
He shall feed His flock like a shepherd; and He shall gather the lambs with His
arm, and carry them in His bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.
(Isaiah 40:11)
Come unto Him, all ye that labour, come unto Him that are heavy laden, an He
will give you rest. Take His yoke upon you, and learn of Him, for He is meek and
lowly of heart, and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
(Matthew 11:28-29)

Chorus
His yoke is easy, and his burden is light.
(Matthew 11:30)

PART TWO - The accomplishment of redemption by the sacrifice of Jesus, mankinds rejection of Gods offer, and mankinds utter defeat when trying to oppose the power of the Almighty

Chorus
Behold the Lamb of God, that taketh away the sin of the world.
(John 1:29)

Air (Alto)
He was despised and rejected of men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
(Isaiah 53:3)
He gave His back to the smiters, and His cheeks to them that plucked off the
hair: He hid not His face from shame and spitting.
(Isaiah 50:6)

Chorus
Surely He hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows! He was wounded for our
transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace
was upon Him.
(Isaiah 53:4-5)

Chorus
 

And with His stripes we are healed.

(Isaiah 53:5)

Chorus
 

All we, like sheep, have gone astray;

we have turned every one to his own way,

and the Lord hath laid on Him

the iniquity of us all.

(Isaiah 53:6)

Accompagnato (Tenor or Soprano)
All they that see Him laugh Him to scorn; they shoot out their lips, and shake
their heads, saying:
(Psalms 22:7)

Chorus
He trusted in God that He would deliver Him; let Him deliver Him, if He delight
in Him.
(Psalms 22:8)

Accompagnato (Tenor or Soprano)
Thy rebuke hath broken His heart: He is full of heaviness. He looked for some to
have pity on Him, but there was no man, neither found He any to comfort Him.
(Psalms 69:20)

Arioso (Tenor or Soprano)
Behold, and see if there be any sorrow like unto His sorrow.
(Lamentations 1:12)

Accompagnato (Tenor or Soprano)
He was cut off out the land of the living: for the transgressions of Thy people
was He stricken.
(Isaiah 53:8)

Air (Tenor or Soprano)
But Thou didst not leave His soul in hell; nor didst Thou suffer Thy Holy One to
see corruption.
(Psalms 16:10)

Chorus
Lift up your heads, O ye gates; and be ye lift up, ye everlasting doors; and the
King of Glory shall come in.
Who is this King of Glory?
The Lord strong and
mighty, the Lord mighty in battle. Lift up your heads, O ye gates; and be ye
lift up, ye everlasting doors; and the King of Glory shall come in.

Who is this King of Glory?

The Lord of Hosts, He is the King of Glory.

(Psalms 24:7-10)

Recitative (Tenor or Soprano)
Unto which of the angels said He at any time: Thou art My Son, this day have I
begotten Thee?
(Hebrews 1:5)

Chorus

Let all the angels of God worship Him.

(Hebrews 1:6)

Air (Alto)
Thou art gone up on high; Thou hast led captivity captive, and received gifts
for men; yea, even from Thine enemies, that the Lord God might dwell among them.
(Psalms 68:18)

Chorus
 

The Lord gave the word;

great was the company of the preachers.

(Psalms 68:11)

Air (Soprano)
How beautiful are the feet of them: that preach the gospel of peace, and bring
glad tidings of good things.
(Romans 10:15)

Chorus
Their sound is gone out into all lands, and their words unto the ends of the
world.
(Romans 10:18 Psalms 19:4)

Air (Bass)
Why do the nations so furiously rage together, and why do the people imagine a
vain thing? The kings of the earth rise up, and the rulers take counsel together
against the Lord, and against His Anointed.
(Psalms 2:1-2)

Chorus
Let us break their bonds asunder, and cast away their yokes from us.
(Psalms 2:3)

Recitative (Tenor)
He that dwelleth in heaven shall laugh them to scorn; the Lord shall have them
in derision.
(Psalms 2:4)

Air (Tenor)
Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron; thou shalt dash them in pieces like a
potter’s vessel.
(Psalms 2:9)

Chorus

Hallelujah!
for the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth.

(Revelation 19:6)

The kingdom of this world is become the kingdom of our Lord, and of His Christ;

and He shall reign for ever and ever.

(Revelation 11:15)

King of Kings, and Lord of Lords.

(Revelation 19:16)
Hallelujah!

Part Three: A Hymn of Thanksgiving for the final overthrow of Death Air (Soprano)
I know that my Redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon
the earth. And though worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God.
(Job 19:25-26)
For now is Christ risen from the dead, the first fruits of them that sleep.
(I Corinthians 15:20)

Chorus
Since by man came death, by man came also the resurrection of the dead. For as
in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.
(I Corinthians 15:21-22)

Accompagnato (Bass)
Behold, I tell you a mystery; we shall not all sleep, but we shall all be
changed in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet.
(I Corinthians 15:51-52)

Air (Bass)
The trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we
shall be changed. For this corruptible must put on incorruption and this mortal
must put on immortality.
(I Corinthians 15:52-53)

Recitative (Alto)
Then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: Death is swallowed up
in victory.
(I Corinthians 15:54)

Duet (Alto/Tenor)
O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death
is sin, and the strength of sin is the law.
(I Corinthians 15:55-56)

Chorus
But thanks be to God, who giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
(I Corinthians 15:57)

Air (Soprano)
If God be for us, who can be against us?
(Romans 8:31)
Who shall lay anything to the charge of God’s elect? It is God that justifieth,
who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen
again, who is at the right hand of God, who makes intercession for us.
(Romans 8:33-34)

Chorus
Worthy is the Lamb that was slain, and hath redeemed us to God by His blood, to
receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and glory, and
blessing. Blessing and honour, glory and power, be unto Him that sitteth upon
the throne, and unto the Lamb, for ever and ever. Amen.
(Revelation 5:12-13)

• 50% of teens attend a weekly Christian activity.
• 75% discuss matters of faith with peers.
• 33% participate in Christian clubs on-campus.
• 75% have engaged in witchcraft or psychic phenomenon.
• 81% have attended Christian groups for at least two months straight.

With so much activity and opportunity, what are the results? Barna shows the Christian church is not winning. It’s a phenomena he calls "Disengagement." In college and afterwards:

• Only 20% of maintain regular activity with a church.
• Only 33% return to church as they become parents (compared to 50% among the over-40 generation).
• 70% of evangelical youth will leave their church and denomination.

Churches are trying, but "much of those efforts are not creating a sustainable faith beyond high school," the report concludes.

From ABC News: "A recent UCLA study found many college students drift away from their religious upbringings. In the study, 52 percent of the students said they attended religious services frequently the year before entering college, but by their junior year attendance had dropped to 29 percent."

And they are not returning to church after college. Only 6% of the kids from evangelical backgrounds continue to hold traditional evangelical doctrines into adulthood, according to Barna’s research.

Many thanks to Joel Hughes for his research here. Read the Barna Report posting in the Issues Forum for a discussion about this information.

The Challenge of Parenting

For any Christian working or dealing with teenagers, this class is a great opportunity. There are not many parenting classes out there — except those for teens in trouble at school or with the law. Christian parents are especially anxious to get some information about the (strange) behavior they begin to see in teens and wonder if there’s anything they can do about it.

Parenting Teens is a course designed for busy parents and youth workers. Use the on-line Web site to sign up for the course, obtain class updates and handouts, interact with other parents and course teachers, and do some research

From the course description:

Parenting teens is a whole different world than parenting younger children. Often parents are caught by surprise when their teens suddenly start demonstrating different behaviors, ideas, and thought processes. How do you handle it? How do we maintain a good relationship with our teens? Are there sound biblical foundations we can work from? How do we take our dependent children to independent adulthood? With so many competing influences, how can we help our kids avoid the seduction and assimilation of the secular culture. This class provides good information on accomplishing these goals

Ten Tips for Motivating Your Child

1. Allow your child to fail – we rob our kids of motivation when we rescue them.
2. Give your child regular household responsibilities – when we affirm our child’s contribution, they begin to see that they are needed & have something valuable to offer. It builds their self-esteem.
3. Decide to limit what you give your child – be concerned with their needs, not their wants. Waiting develops self-control for their later years.
4. Teach & model respect for people & property – teach them to care for & value what belongs to them. They must understand the value of property to respect another’s possessions. Model respect by being on time, be courteous with service people (waitresses, cashiers, etc.), drive courteously & don’t criticize behind someone’s back. (Your kid is watching!)
5. Build into your child the value of completion – limit their activities & teach them completion, a sense of achievement & closure. Otherwise, they learn if something gets tough, just quit (won’t work at a job or in a marriage).
6. Limit exposure to media – they are drowning in information & starved for knowledge. When kids are over-stimulated with information they become passive & apathetic. Encourage them to read & think, daily.
7. Teach & model personal virtues over conformity – honesty, faith, hope, courage & love are more important than social status.
8. Hold your child personally accountable – children should be responsible for what they say & do. There are always consequences for the choices we make in life.
9. Work together – projects (school, home, etc.) build relationships. We build motivation when we create opportunities to serve together.
10. Play together – when parents & children relax, laugh & enjoy each other, it builds a bond. Having fun is motivating.

Marks of a Close Family

1. Show affection – verbal & non-verbal & comfortable & natural for parents & children
2. Spend time together – increases opportunity to love each other & converse
3. Build trust – as you spend time together, you build trust. Can be built apart to measure responsibility & freedom children can handle without parental supervision.
4. Develop support systems – support each other amongst successes & failures. It provides security & freedom.

Are we as parents able to address needs of our teenagers effectively? What do the teenagers think? As an exercise in parental trouble-shooting, read the answers and post your diagnosis.

Question #1) Your teenager comes drunk…what are you going to do?

• "I will refrain from shooting them."
• "Not give him any consequences because he’s already feeling sick."
• "…talk to them about the effects of alcohol."
• "Tell him you have to be 21 to drink."
• "I would listen to their story, talk to my spouse, then decide what to do."

Question #2) Your teenager comes home with a "D" on the grade card - how would you handle it?

• "Ask him if he thinks he was doing his best work."

Question #3) What are the indications your teenager is doing well (or poorly) ?

• "They tell me."

Question #4) What does your teenager want from you?

• "They want guideliness, support and guidance."
• "Stuff."

Question #5) Your youth-worker says your kid is not interested in the Lord. What do you do?

• "Pray with other Christians about it."
• "Cry, cry, cry, get help, pray, pray, pray."
• "Go to a parenting class."

From teenagers:

Question #6) What do you think your parent’s expectations are of you?

• "They want me to be everything they are. Just because we share genes doesn’t mean we share a brain."

Question #7) Do you really talk to your parents?

• "No, because whatever it is is my fault. What’s the point if they don’t help me?"

Question #8) Can you trust your parents?

• "No, they invade my privacy and don’t leave me alone. They don’t trust me, and I don’t trust them."

Question #9) Do your parents listen to you?

• "No. Brick walls listen better."

Question #10) If you would change 2 thngs about your parents, what would they be?

• "I’m my own person. I’m not you. I make mistakes. So let me, and I’ll be OK."

Question #11) What would you do differently?

• "My criticism will be constructive, and I’ll understand that my kid isn’t just like me."

Question #12) What do you admire most about your parents?

• "Nothing. Well, they haven’t killed me yet.""

Question #13) What do you admire least?

• "They’re ignorant."

Theres a killer on the road
His brain is squirmin’ like a toad
…If you give this man a ride
Sweet memory will die
Killer on the road…
Riders on the storm…"

Exiting the freeway, the only movement in sight, the car swung sharply into a parking lot and the driver emerged and hesitated. What would greet him inside that darkened building? It was a warehouse, an eerie scene from a murder mystery.

He stepped inside and suddenly entered a different world: people were everywhere, lights were blazing, an overhead projector the splashed the wall with colors from Powerpoint slides. An intense conversation was underway, and Keith’s entry was barely noticed: it was a conversation with Creator God. It was prayer.

At 3 a.m., he was stunned at the number of dedicated Christians in the fellowship were still awake and reporting for duty. Didn’t these people sleep? What kind of place is this? It was Northeast Ohio Xenos Christian Fellowship hard at work praying all night long. So went the first prayer vigil held in October.

The Outcome

What has happened since then? The list of miracles and breakthroughs have redefined our fellowship. We relocated at last from distant Macedonia into the KSU/Akron area, occupying almost 4,000 square feet of Riverwood’s space, miraculously priced at a fraction of its value. Despite the terrible divisions which left us financially uncertain, Xenos still hired Keith McCallum for a 32-hour work week as planned. A number of people who were going to hell are now forever members of the Body of Christ. The fellowship is growing again, and within a couple of months we have rebounded from the loss incurred by divisions.

Did God respond to the courage, persistence and faith of those prayer warriors who carried the torch through the night? The Bible declares it is so, as Christ said:

"In a certain city there was a judge who did not fear God and did not respect man. "There was a widow in that city, and she kept coming to him, saying, ‘Give me legal protection from my opponent.’ "For a while he was unwilling; but afterward he said to himself, ‘Even though I do not fear God nor respect man, yet because this widow bothers me, I will give her legal protection, otherwise by continually coming she will wear me out.’ " And the Lord said, "Hear what the unrighteous judge said; now, will not God bring about justice for His elect who cry to Him day and night, and will He delay long over them?" Luke 18:2-7

Strategic Conversation!

There are so many needs swirling around our fellowship, and each one deserves careful prayer. God wants us to lay all our issues at His feet:

casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Yet also God is clear that we should prioritize our prayer conversations with Him. Some issues require sustained, earnest and repeated prayers, as Jesus pointed out in Luke 18 (above). This is what separates prayer which is unfocused, stream-of-consciousness, lazy chatter from truly effective prayer: alertness, focus, and the spiritual muscle to strive and labor.

Praying with Alertness

The alertness which should accompany prayer is a spiritual alertness. Prayer is bi-directional: when we talk to God, He reveals His will.  How he reveals it is not always consistent, but it happens. Sometimes it occurs when God anoints someone’s tongue, and that person starts to prophesy:

…speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; Ephesians 5:18-19

That was no Sunday morning worship service: it’s a spiritual phenomena loaded with "spiritual songs" making a "melody" deep inside "your heart."

Sometimes God reveals His will through a deep sense of illumination and conviction which was never there before, and it materialized out of nowhere. This is truly exciting when it happens. Believe it or not, it can be even more fun to go home after a night filled with this kind of illumination than a night filled with beer:

And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit. Eph. 5:18

Whichever means God chooses to communicate through prayer, only those who muster spiritual alertness will break through the spiritual barrier to receive the illumination of God’s will:

"But keep on the alert at all times, praying that you may have strength to escape all these things…" Luke 21:36 (NASB95)

With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints, Ephesians 6:18

Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving; Colossians 4:2

The Struggle of Prayer

The struggle to keep alert and focused and "understand what the will of God is" can be exhausting even for everyday prayer. During an all-night vigil, it becomes a crushing weariness and a deep, sacrificial act of love for God and everyone else:

…strive together with me in your prayers to God for me . Romans 15:30 (NASB95)

…always laboring earnestly for you in his prayers, that you may stand perfect and fully assured in all the will of God. Colossians 4:12

Now He was telling them a parable to show that at all times they ought to pray and not to lose heart,
Luke 18:1

These all with one mind were continually devoting themselves to prayer, along with the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with His brothers. Acts 1:14

Are You Strategic?

Do you have a list we need to pray for? And do you have a strategic list? If so, please take a few moments to post it in our Prayer Forum (http://neoxenos.net/prayer) so we too can do what Paul asked of his supporters, to, "strive together with me in your prayers…"

If any faith is based on truth, it’s the Christian faith (Jn 8:32 – truth set you free…) When you let go of truth, we are gutted. Thus, the tragedy of the folowing statistics.

Surveys among young people in evangelical churches who have "Personally trusted JC as savior and Lord, know they’re going to heaven because saved me."The following percentages of Christian youth rejected the biblical concept of Universal truth (truth exists which is universal for all pp, everywhere, at all times as external, objective truth): in 1991 52%, in 1996 62%, in 2000 78%, in 2004 91%.

Of all teenagers, only 6% agree that any truth exists apart from themselves.  Of non-born again, it’s 4%, of born again it’s 9%.

This is critical – in 1995, of all xian young pp, when statement made, the bible is the infallible word of God and useful in every situation, only 10%. Now it is under 4%. Was 10%

Pyramid of the making of a child.

What drives a young person’s behavior? Values. What forms our values? Our beliefs. At the top of "the Pyramid" is behavior is driven by values which is driven by our beliefs which are formed by relationships. What engenders our beliefs? Relationships engender our beliefs which leads to value which comes out in behavior.

Teach me your ways so I can live according to your truth. Ps 86:11,13

Key point: "for your love for me is very great." If David had not been aware of God’s love, he wouldn’t have been the man he was.

John 1:14 – full of unfailing love and truth. Then v.17, it "came through JC."

In Ps 85, "unfailing love" and "truth" comes together thru Dad. IF a child doesn’t see it come thru Daddy, it will be hard to believe in truth.

Eph 4: teach the truth. Isn’t hat what we want to do? In a way child wil grasp and transform requires "truth thru love."

Can be anything in life – great – in truth but if the heart of son or daughter doesn’t believe in daddy’s love, they’ll walk away from the truth.Truth wi/o relationship leads to rejection.Rules w/o relationships leads to rebellion.

Dartmouth medical school study – 200 scientific studies of young people. Did their own study – “Hard wire to connect” Subtitle = New scientific case for authoritative communities. Means – authoritative community 1 or 2 young people connected to an adult. All scientific research shows that from the moment a baby is born, his brain is literally is formed physically & biologically to form relationships. Not emotionally or spiritually, but physically. If you want to pass your values and truth on to your authoritative community, you need 2 ingredients.

1. a loving, intimate connection to the young pp or they will walk away.

2. Must model that very truth in the presence of that child

3. It is truth in the context of relationship. Finally science is catching up to the Bible.

Columbine

Columbia University after Columbine. How does family structure – Single parent mom VS 2 parent family affect involvement in alcohol, drugs, sex.

• A child raised in single parent home headed by mom is 30% more likely to be involved in alcohol and violence.
• A child raised in a 2 parent biological family with a fair to poor relationship with the father, is 68% more likely.
• IN a 2 parent family where relationship with dad is good to excellent, is 94% less likely to ever go into drugs, alcohol, & violence. Possible but improbable.

Here is the prob in the church – we have stressed the structure (2 parent) over the relationship.

Relationships engender young pp to want to believe.

After Columbine, the FBI commissioned a study to be done. Could they develop a profile to detect potential shooters. 3 major ingredients.

• all white
• middle class
• father is absent or distant in parenting process.

Out of 17 shooters – 3 of them were in evangelical youth groups the night before.

John Hopkins Medical School – wanted to study young pp to find a way to predict 5 things.

1. mental illness
2. hyper tension
3. malignant tumor
4. coronary heart disease
5. suicide.

Study lasted 30 years – 1377 graduates of the medical school. The most significant predictor found was lack of closeness to one’s parents. Why? Stress. A child raised in a loving, intimate environment can handle stress so much better.
A young man 12-14 years old who does not have a loving relationship with their father are 300% more likely to attempt suicide. A 15-16 year old 400% more likely to attempt suicide. The most powerful platform to influence your kid is as a daddy.

The title of this book is a little misleading. "The Relaxed Parent" conveys a feeling of permissiveness, which is not what the book is about. "The Principled Parent" would be a more accurate title. Another weakness of this book is a lack of real life and age-appropriate examples of "Principled Parenting". I think this book is an excellent start and is a good foundation to parenting effectively, but some more real life examples would be helpful.

This book does a good job at addressing some of the lies we believe about parenting such as "my kids should always be happy," money and material items can replace time with parents, unrealistic expectations on children and ourselves (parents). The author stresses repeatedly the importance of building solid relationships with our children as the key to effective parenting.

This book also discusses the trends affecting our children today and the traits of spoiled children (a particularly eye-opening section). I also liked the fact that the author stresses the need to look at ourselves and ponder the baggage we bring into our parenting.

The author stresses the parent’s need to teach children responsibility, which is done by giving up control and not over-protecting them.

Relaxed parents guide their children with timeless principles based on universal truth, not the latest formulas.

• Parents need to ask themselves, " Why do we have kids and what do we want to pass on to them?"
• We want our children to be whole, loving adults. Confident & productive, at ease with the world. How?
• Our culture is focused on image and personality. We need to parent on character and what lies within our children.
• Effective habits are behaviors that are desirable and based on principles.
• Principle-centered parenting believes there are universal values — values for all cultures for all time. In other words, absolutes that govern relationships like natural laws govern nature.
• Principle-oriented parenting provides parents with a "North Star." It helps us focus on important issues not just the urgent ones. These are the issues of character, who they are becoming from the inside out.

Recommendation: Overall, this is an excellent book. I would recommend it as reading for all parents.