Comments on: Trouble-shooting Parenthood http://www.zine.neonets.org/http:/www.zine.neonets.org/2006/12/parenting-survey it's all here Tue, 06 Jan 2009 20:02:46 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.5 by: neil.w http://www.zine.neonets.org/http:/www.zine.neonets.org/2006/12/parenting-survey#comment-13 Wed, 24 Jan 2007 03:21:58 +0000 http://www.zine.neonets.org/http:/www.zine.neonets.org/2006/12/parenting-survey#comment-13 it seems that these young ones want there own identity. they want space to make their own mistakes and learn like everyone else. i.e. vicariously, making own mistakes, and from just learning. they could end up being suffering as mog but as long as boc is there to help, there is hope. it seems that these young ones want there own identity. they want space to make their own mistakes and learn like everyone else. i.e. vicariously, making own mistakes, and from just learning. they could end up being suffering as mog but as long as boc is there to help, there is hope.

]]> by: Indre http://www.zine.neonets.org/http:/www.zine.neonets.org/2006/12/parenting-survey#comment-12 Tue, 23 Jan 2007 19:16:46 +0000 http://www.zine.neonets.org/http:/www.zine.neonets.org/2006/12/parenting-survey#comment-12 Well, it's pretty obvious that alot of us parents don't know what we would do given certain situations. It's hard to think on the spot when it's never happened to you. However, that's no excuse for not having thought through it and having a plan in place. We do need to think through what are the most important values that we want to pass on to our kids, and how are we going to do it. Obviously force-feeding them won't work...shucks! That's what I am hoping to get from this class...an opportunity to think through it and make a plan. As for the kids' responses, it doesn't surprise me that many feel they can't talk to their parents. Heck I have a hard time communicating with adults/parents(non-xenoids of course). Honestly, before this class started my kids were questioning me why I am taking it and saying that Ted and I are great parents and are communicating/doing just fine. hmmmm perhaps somebody/ies didn't want their world shaken up? Once the class started I felt alittle distancing going on. Anyone else get that? I am starting to see it may be time for our family to delve into the temperaments a little deeper this time. Well, it’s pretty obvious that alot of us parents don’t know what we would do given certain situations. It’s hard to think on the spot when it’s never happened to you. However, that’s no excuse for not having thought through it and having a plan in place. We do need to think through what are the most important values that we want to pass on to our kids, and how are we going to do it. Obviously force-feeding them won’t work…shucks!
That’s what I am hoping to get from this class…an opportunity to think through it and make a plan. As for the kids’ responses, it doesn’t surprise me that many feel they can’t talk to their parents. Heck I have a hard time communicating with adults/parents(non-xenoids of course). Honestly, before this class started my kids were questioning me why I am taking it and saying that Ted and I are great parents and are communicating/doing just fine. hmmmm perhaps somebody/ies didn’t want their world shaken up? Once the class started I felt alittle distancing going on. Anyone else get that? I am starting to see it may be time for our family to delve into the temperaments a little deeper this time.

]]> by: Nicole http://www.zine.neonets.org/http:/www.zine.neonets.org/2006/12/parenting-survey#comment-11 Mon, 22 Jan 2007 04:21:20 +0000 http://www.zine.neonets.org/http:/www.zine.neonets.org/2006/12/parenting-survey#comment-11 I agree with all of the responses so far. When I was a teen, I definitely felt that I could not tell my mother anything. This would be because she would flip out and make me feel less-than-human. However, when my parents divorced, I was able to witness my step-sisters interactions with their mom. They were able to tell her anything and they felt comfortable doing it. This was because she would actually listen, give advice and help with situations, and made them feel important and loved no matter what. Even though she was not Christian and was not demonstrating Christ's love, she was able to get love, respect, and communication from her kids. I have only been in youth ministry for about 1.5 years, but the kids really seem to open up with us youth workers and they will tell us some of their opinions about some of the above questions. I guess thats one of the reasons I love working in this area! We definitely can help here and show them that they are loved by God no matter what, first and foremost, and us. So, I guess what I am trying to say is that kids need to be shown that you can be trusted, that they are loved even when they screw up, and that you are really listening not just waiting for your turn to speak and give them a piece of your mind. Plus, they need to be aware that even people close to them will let them down and that is why having a personal relationship with God is so awesome and important- He can give listen, be trusted and love them unconditionally..ALWAYS!! I agree with all of the responses so far. When I was a teen, I definitely felt that I could not tell my mother anything. This would be because she would flip out and make me feel less-than-human. However, when my parents divorced, I was able to witness my step-sisters interactions with their mom. They were able to tell her anything and they felt comfortable doing it. This was because she would actually listen, give advice and help with situations, and made them feel important and loved no matter what. Even though she was not Christian and was not demonstrating Christ’s love, she was able to get love, respect, and communication from her kids.
I have only been in youth ministry for about 1.5 years, but the kids really seem to open up with us youth workers and they will tell us some of their opinions about some of the above questions. I guess thats one of the reasons I love working in this area! We definitely can help here and show them that they are loved by God no matter what, first and foremost, and us.
So, I guess what I am trying to say is that kids need to be shown that you can be trusted, that they are loved even when they screw up, and that you are really listening not just waiting for your turn to speak and give them a piece of your mind. Plus, they need to be aware that even people close to them will let them down and that is why having a personal relationship with God is so awesome and important- He can give listen, be trusted and love them unconditionally..ALWAYS!!

]]> by: neozine » Blog Archive » Trouble-shooting Parenthood http://www.zine.neonets.org/http:/www.zine.neonets.org/2006/12/parenting-survey#comment-10 Wed, 10 Jan 2007 04:14:32 +0000 http://www.zine.neonets.org/http:/www.zine.neonets.org/2006/12/parenting-survey#comment-10 [...] Are we as parents able to address needs of our teenagers effectively? What do the teenagers think? As an exercise in parental trouble-shooting, read the answers and post your diagnosis. [...] […] Are we as parents able to address needs of our teenagers effectively? What do the teenagers think? As an exercise in parental trouble-shooting, read the answers and post your diagnosis. […]

]]> by: Lina http://www.zine.neonets.org/http:/www.zine.neonets.org/2006/12/parenting-survey#comment-8 Wed, 03 Jan 2007 19:40:00 +0000 http://www.zine.neonets.org/http:/www.zine.neonets.org/2006/12/parenting-survey#comment-8 Wow--are these the only responses to all those questions from all those surveyed?! It would be interesting to see more responses. Diagnosis: From these responses, I would conclude we are not able to address the needs of our teens effectively. However, some of these questions require context, is the "D" grade the usual grade, a once in a lifetime, or starting to occur more frequently? I was bummed no teens admire anything about their parents, Maybe that's part of typical teen separation? Diana asks a critical question. In our ministry, I find that teens do want to talk & will talk if listened to. How do we motivate them to take on a vital walk w/Jesus, finding their role in the BOC & fruitful ministry? This requires lots of individual care in discipling, good trusting relationship, inner motivation, appreciation, good role models, peer group,....these things are still forming in our church. Wow–are these the only responses to all those questions from all those surveyed?! It would be interesting to see more responses.
Diagnosis: From these responses, I would conclude we are not able to address the needs of our teens effectively. However, some of these questions require context, is the “D” grade the usual grade, a once in a lifetime, or starting to occur more frequently?
I was bummed no teens admire anything about their parents, Maybe that’s part of typical teen separation?
Diana asks a critical question. In our ministry, I find that teens do want to talk & will talk if listened to. How do we motivate them to take on a vital walk w/Jesus, finding their role in the BOC & fruitful ministry? This requires lots of individual care in discipling, good trusting relationship, inner motivation, appreciation, good role models, peer group,….these things are still forming in our church.

]]> by: Diana http://www.zine.neonets.org/http:/www.zine.neonets.org/2006/12/parenting-survey#comment-6 Sun, 24 Dec 2006 05:22:32 +0000 http://www.zine.neonets.org/http:/www.zine.neonets.org/2006/12/parenting-survey#comment-6 Parents' Question #3) What are the indications your teenager is doing well (or poorly) ? "They tell me." Teens' Question #7) Do you really talk to your parents? "No, because whatever it is is my fault. What’s the point if they don’t help me?" I'm not a parent of teens, but the answers to these questions show an insteresting contrast. Although there are teens that talk to thier parents, and even are close with their parents, most teens don't necessarily tell them everything. Some, like me when I was a teen, don't tell thier parents anything at all. How can parents/teen workers relate with teens on a basis of trust? Parents’ Question #3) What are the indications your teenager is doing well (or poorly) ?

“They tell me.”

Teens’ Question #7) Do you really talk to your parents?

“No, because whatever it is is my fault. What’s the point if they don’t help me?”

I’m not a parent of teens, but the answers to these questions show an insteresting contrast. Although there are teens that talk to thier parents, and even are close with their parents, most teens don’t necessarily tell them everything. Some, like me when I was a teen, don’t tell thier parents anything at all. How can parents/teen workers relate with teens on a basis of trust?

]]> by: lisa beech http://www.zine.neonets.org/http:/www.zine.neonets.org/2006/12/parenting-survey#comment-5 Mon, 11 Dec 2006 16:59:07 +0000 http://www.zine.neonets.org/http:/www.zine.neonets.org/2006/12/parenting-survey#comment-5 Kids need to know that they are intrinsically valuable and acceptable as they are. Christ totally fills this bill. I have wasted so much of my own life defining myself from external evaluations from parents, teachers, peers, etc. I have sought approval from these external sources rather than from my identity as a valuable heir and co-worker in God's Kingdom. If we as parents can learn to live and communicate this truth to our children, then our kids will be more able or free to live as God intended them to live. The problem for me is to unlearn what I have learned and to relearn what God says about me so that I can mirror or model this life to my children. I'm looking forward to learning and understanding what God says about parenting! Lisa Kids need to know that they are intrinsically valuable and acceptable as they are. Christ totally fills this bill. I have wasted so much of my own life defining myself from external evaluations from parents, teachers, peers, etc. I have sought approval from these external sources rather than from my identity as a valuable heir and co-worker in God’s Kingdom.

If we as parents can learn to live and communicate this truth to our children, then our kids will be more able or free to live as God intended them to live. The problem for me is to unlearn what I have learned and to relearn what God says about me so that I can mirror or model this life to my children.

I’m looking forward to learning and understanding what God says about parenting!

Lisa

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